What Do You Think About Women?

What do you think of 115 thinkgs about women:



1. Maternity Leave- 6 months paid vacation and all you do is have a baby.

2. We got off the Titanic first

3. We are better dancers

4. Taxis stop for us first

5. We can pretend to be pregnant and get lots of attention on buses

6. We don't go bald after our 26th birthdays

7. We can cry and get out of stressful situations. Like a speeding ticket. Heck, crying gets you out of anything.

8. We can flirt our way out of a speeding ticket. Heck, you can flirt your way out of anything.

9. We live longer than men

10. We smell better

11. Phone conversations are better than a soap opera

12. Ladies Night.

13. We don't have to open our own jars.

14. We don't have to kill our own food.

15. We get put up on a pedistal

16. We rarely have to carry our own suitcases.

17. We know stuff about everyone.

18. Short skirts will always cure unemployment

19. You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself

20. You never get a draft card.

21. It's easier to get a credit card.

22. You rule the bathroom

23. It's ok for you to marry for money.

24. Long nails make great weapons.

25. Divorces are profitable in your favor.

26. If the police is looking for you, it's easier to disguise yourself.

27. Sex is just another chocolate.

28. No matter how long it takes you to get ready, guys will ALWAYS wait for you.

29. Free flowers.

30. Free dinners.

31. Free lunches.

32. Free brunches

33. Revenge is our specialty

34. You'll get asked to have sex for about 90% of your life.

35. Men are optional.

36. You can whip men for money.

37. You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.

38. Nobody will ever slap you for telling a dirty joke.

39. You can sue for sexual harassments.

40. You know that penis size really does matter.

41. PMS means you're right. About anything. Got a f***ing

problem with that?

42. Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".

43. Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride

44. Girls can go together to a public restroom without looking like a fag

45. It's ok if girls hang out with gay guys. If straight men hang out with lesbos, it's considered an affair.

46. Friends won't call you "pussywhipped" behind your back

47. With 1 bottle of frozen sperm, we could populate the earth for

400 years with no need for men, "in theory".

48. You can "fake" anything

49. No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.

50. Your skin is softer.

51. You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt

52. Valentine's Day was invented just for you

53. Someday you'll be a rich widow.

54. Being bisexual is considered a "bonus"

55. No matter how much time a guy spends on himself, you'll still

look better.

56. You won't get someone pregnant

57. You get hit on first most of the time

58. You don't have to buy wedding rings

59. You never have to change your oil.

60. You don't have to pump your own gas

61. You never have to change a flat tire in the rain.

62. If you feel like trapping your husband, there's always the "do I look fat?" test

63. Your adult children will come home often because of your fabulous home cooked meals.

64. You can't get thrown in jail cause of child support.

65. It empowers you when someone notices your new hair cut.

66. You can do your own laundry without your laundry turning pink.

67. Shopping somehow makes your life feel complete.

68. You can resolve arguments without giving someone a black eye.

69. The real beauty of e-mail is obvious to us - a further dimension to our social lives

70. You can scam maternity leave by looking fat.

71. You don't have to mow the lawn

72. Longer orgasms

73. You don't have to worry about getting punched when you cut someone off in traffic

74. If you gave your boyfriend/husband a black eye, they will think it's his fault not yours.

75. We don't grow nose hairs.

76. We have total control over our eyebrows.

77. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

78. People envy you if you're a "daddy's girl". It's sad to be a "mama's boy"

79. We control the population.

80. Free drinks

81. You have a secret power to somehow hold your fart in public.

82. We get to choose the movie

83. We get all expensive paid trips-all we have to do is sleep with the guy.

84. We never have to pay when we go on dates.

85. We get to sleep on the bed when we have an argument with our man. Men get to sleep on the couch.

86. PMS is a legal defense for murder.

87. We're better manipulators.

88. We can masturbate more in a day than men.

89. We never run out of excuses.

90. We get EXPENSIVE jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.

91. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men **** up so often

92. We get massages

93. We're better parents.

94. We are cleaner

95. We have a higher tolerance of pain

96. We often get to cut in line

97. We are more flexible

98. No penis envy

99. Better tips

100. Men hold the door open for us.

101. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)

102. We lie better

103. We can marry rich and then not have to work

104. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!

105. Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting

106. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return

107. We dont have excessive amounts of body hair

108. We dont have to drive when on a date

109. Men fantasize about sex 20 times a day but women can get laid more often.

110. We are sexier

111. We express ourselves better

112. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night

113. Women do less time for violent crime

114. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"

115. We can talk to our mom everyday and it's considered normal.

What Do You Think About Women?
Wow, that was good

And soooo true
Reply:well that just acts like we take advantage of everyone and everything. The first one about all we do is have a baby. Ok for other moms I don't think that one is just a walk in the park it is really hard when you are a new mom at first and giving birth hurts Report It
Reply:you forgot one thing

we get stuck with dead beat dads who don't pay child support and we are the ones ending up being the barrer of bad news
Reply:I think that about sums it up... Although, I do pump my own gas and I have changed a flat tire in the rain. I also own more power tools than most men (and I know how to use them)... That's what's so great about women - we know how and can do most anything. We just choose not to either because A) we don't want to get our hands dirty, or B) we know when a man needs his ego boosted and we can pretend to be helpless to make him feel big and strong.
Reply:I think you have covered it all.
Reply:I made it to #67. Good points but now my brain hurts.
Reply:Sounds like they take advantage of everybody! Karma, baby.
Reply:The list is too long, I'd say I need to find the right one for myself.
Reply:thats great!!
Reply:hmmmmm
Reply:Some might have too much time on their hands.
Reply:fo sho! sorry about guys luck lol
Reply:Can't think that much. TOO LONG!
Reply:I gave up after #23 but #10 seems a bit "Fishy" LOL.