Would you be mad? Valentines Day predicament?

Let me start by saying i have an awesome boyfriend.. he treats me like a princess.. and ive dated plenty of jerks over the years... so i can recognize one instantly haha.. and hes not.



HOWEVER- he is in the doghouse today.



You see- im a girl.. and us girls care about valentines day lol. I dont want material things.. i dont care if i just get a bunch of walmart flowers.. but.. come on.. thats my special holiday for our relationship.



Anyways- id be secretly planning and planning.. bough him a card.. some candy..etc.. well... he informed me yesterday he works from 11:00am-midnight that day.



Sure, if he HAD to work- of course i wouldnt be mad. But he volunteered! and then he said "well i can change it if your upset" but.. it was kinda like.. the damage was done. i dont want him to only take off b/c i was upset- i want him to want to spend that night with me.



Now- im not being rude to him.. but he knows im disapointed. Am i in line here? or am i being stupid? Thanks!

Would you be mad? Valentines Day predicament?
In my experience through life I have found that I just don't think men care about Valentines Day quite as much as women do. Its just another day for them. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you, but if has the opportunity to make money that day (You didn't say what he does, but if he is a server, that is A LOT of money for him on V- Day!) then he might as well take it. He probably thinks that you can just go out and celebrate it another night.

My husband and I aren't going out on Thursday - we are going to go out on Saturday instead!
Reply:In my opinion, Valentine's Day is not an important holiday and your idea that all girls love it is not true. I know many girls who don't like it. You didn't mention whether or not he likes the holiday, but he has as much of right to dislike it as you have the right to like it.

Regardless, I think you're out of line for being upset b/c you were planning all of this in secret. Had you told him to plan on spending the evening with you, then it would be a different story, but he didn't know you were going to do a bunch of stuff. You should also think about why it is he volunteered to work on Thursday. Does he need the extra money? Was he helping out his coworker? Was he avoiding Valentine's Day? All three of these would be good reasons not to get upset with him, but instead simply talk about it. Be sure to let him know how important the holiday is to you. He seems to be willing to work things out. On the contrary, you seem to be acting stubborn. Your idea that it's a total loss because things aren't going the way you planned is pretty immature. It's on a Thursday night anyway, plan to celebrate it this weekend instead.
Reply:well it all sounds pretty stupid Tobe honest. You seem to have some control issues and if things are not going the way YOU WANT than you are angry. It all sounds complicated and relationships should not be like that so sounds like you should maybe go buy your own Wilmar flowers on valentines and quit whining, squawking etc etc..
Reply:Relationships are all about compromise. Why don't you plan on spending Friday night together? That way...he'll get the extra hours at work and you can still celebrate together. :) If your relationship is going to end up lasting a long time...don't you want him to have a good job?? Picking up extra shifts is good for his financial future. I have to work on Valentine's Day too...two jobs. I could've taken the second one off...but I made plans with my bf to celebrate Friday night. Look on the bright side...it'll be YOUR special V-Day on Friday...not everyone else's. Don't be mad at him if he's so wonderful. There's not many guys like him out there. ;)
Reply:Maybe he needs the money ask him why he volunteered and if he knew it was valentines day. Maybe he didn't know. I made a business meeting by mistake b/c I didn't think of it. And I'm the girl. Maybe it was a mistake. He offered to cancel you should have told him to cancel.
Reply:I think you are both... in line and being stupid. You are in line, because me that love you should know that Valentines Day is specail to us women. But you are kind of being stupid, because a lot of guys don't really think much of V-Day, and not just that but he offered to change it for you to make you happy, so that really should mean something to you.
Reply:Aww that SUCKS. I'd be pissed.
Reply:Well, I've been out of the game for a while. But, it seems like he needed to know you had plans. Like saying baby, on V-day is it okay that I made plans for us? If he is an understanding guy, he would say sure! But, maybe he is having money problems, he don't want you to know about. Or the big thing is maybe he already has made plans for you guys. Be blunt and ask! Sometimes it is better to be forward with them.
Reply:maybe valentines day doesn't mean as much to him as it does to you.i would say that he shows his love for you in many different ways. more important than celebrating a superficial holiday like this one. i have been married 25 years and have as yet to observe this bs. and yes i do get my wife candy flowers and other special gifts throughout the year when i choose, not when the calender tells me i should.
Reply:No that was mean on his part.
Reply:Yes you are in line no you are not being stupid the only way I can see him volunteering is if he desperately needs the money otherwise no he's wrong.
Reply:makign me feel bad and remember valentines day **** valentines day it is lonely
Reply:I would be disappointed but not too upset with him. This holiday isn't as important to a guy - not to de-value how much we love it!



Your guy needs to recognize that this day is important to you and maybe he has plans of doing this in other ways. You never know what he may have up his sleeve!



I would let him go to work since he has already comitted and go do something fun with a single girlfriend who may appreciate spending time with someone on this day even more than your boyfriend! :)



Tell your boyfriend that you want to celebrate Valentine's with him this weekend and plan something uber romantic for the WHOLE weekend if you can! I'd say that is way more exciting than one evening!!
Reply:i'd be bummed if my bf couldn't spend it with me but he didn't know he was doing anything wrong because he didn't know your plans. guys just don't think valentine's is a big deal (i don't actually think anything of it either, lol) so he probably had no idea he was hurting you! and maybe he needs extra cash so he volunteered. you guys can always celebrate the next day (not the same, but better than nothing) best wishes!
Reply:you are not being stupid...but you ARE being an emotional woman...i would be upset too...you have a right to be...but dont harp on the bad focus on everything that you said in your first part of the question...

my b/f is super awesome too...but he HATES hoildays...especially valentines day...he feels like it just another day, and if he wants to do something special he will do it on an UNexpected day...

but he also has to realize that i LOVE this day b/c im a female...sit down and discuss this with your b/f tell him how you feel from your heart...and then let it go...
Reply:oops don't know the answer but a wild guess. He is testing you, otherwise why would he volunteer to work on a valentine. read the lines baby. you overcome this, he is your forever. the test? can you support him in his stupid decisions or you only seek him to make you happy all the times? that's what I get from your message