Another poem!!!?

Secret Medow



Lilys line the path i take

by the lilacs i awake



Roses and daisies in my hair

I braid them for the crown i wear



My medow is so dear to me

for it allways fills me up with glee



Those flowers are my sanctruary

They make me feel light and airy



In that garden i never feel alone

But sometimes i fear i shall never go home.

Another poem!!!?
Are you published yet? I really mean it, it's quite pretty! I especially like the second verse, "Roses and daisies in my hair, I braid them for the crown I wear."
Reply:this poem is really really juveline and bad.
Reply:Try working the rhythm a bit. Sometimes chanting a poem in rhythm with a good song will show you where the rhythm is off:



**************************************

Secret Meadow



Lilies line the path I take

among the lilacs, I awake



Roses, daisies in my hair

I braided for the crown I wear



Meadows are so dear to me

swaying sweet and fragrant glee



Flowers are my sanctuary

make me feel so light and airy



In that garden, never alone

but fearing I will never go home



**************************************...





Rhythm is SO hard at first and then becomes lyrical, musical, and natural. I hope I didn't insult you -- I hope I helped, since I do like the concept and the passion...
Reply:really nice have to say . keep it up!!

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