Looking for girls advice: Okay so what do i need to change?

Okay ladies, heres the back story (haha)



I am a 25 year old male who is very 'nice'. I've been brave and said it already 'nice'! By this i mean i am a gent in every sense of the word. When interested in a girl i make sure eye contact is there but am too shy a guy to bowl over and chat a girl up if she's with loads of friends or by using a chat up line. I wait for a one on one opportunity.



I am the kinda romantic guy who buys flowers, writes poems, holds doors open for girls etc BUT just last week i asked my 27 year old female cousin for personal opinion regarding why i don't get that many ladies. (you know by my approach)? Don't get me wrong, i get loads of looks but completely react the wrong way, rendering the girl uninterested in seconds.



What i tend to do is due to my nature, show the girl who looks over at me too much back and therefore the girl loses interest. She also said my nature is too nice and girls don't like nice but instead thay like either in your face approaches

Looking for girls advice: Okay so what do i need to change?
Maybe you just go on and on a bit to much.xx
Reply:You're trying way too hard.



You're either a decent person or not, why try to prove it with flowers or poetry, which are, quite frankly, unimaginative.



People often say women don't like nice guys, this isn't true, women like funny, honest, confident men. It's just those sort of men are usually a bit cocky and come across as "bad"



Be more comfortable with yourself, have something to say that's interesting, listen to the woman your talking to, and don't treat all women in the same way.



You'll find your relationships a lot more successful
Reply:Don't change anything!!! The only thing that girls can't seem to look past is looks. You sound perfect just the way you are and someday you'll find the girl for you and she'll think the same! Good luck!
Reply:as a female, i do believe that if a boy treats a girl mean he keeps her keen, well it seems to happen with me, HOWEVER i was in a relationship with someone and he was constantly mean! not good! i used to go for bad boys myself but thats startin to change, my advice would be for u to be yourself BUT as u have said u are a nice guy etc..etc.. which means that u are more likely to get used (sounds harsh but i was too nice until i wised up a little) be aware
Reply:I like nice, my fella is nice and a gentleman. BUT, he can be too much so. You need to find the balance. Look at a woman and show her you're interested but don't expect her to make the move - you need to go and talk to her or at least flirt a little from a safe distance if you feel awkward!
Reply:There's nothing wrong with nice, mate, but I think you're trying too hard. I don't mean this to sound nasty, but desperation is not attractive and some people who put too much thought into these things come across as desperate, even if they aren't. It just sounds to me like you're making too much a big deal out of the whole situation. Just let these things happen naturally and don't let it get to you when things don't work out. Don't worry that you're making too much of it when girls look at you, surely that's a good thing. All this stuff about girls liking guys who ignore them and treat them badly is a load of malarkey. The kind of girls who are into that are game players and generally a complete pain in the a*se. I've had friends like that and they aren't nice people. There's plenty of girls who would like a nice guy who paid them lots of attention. Just chill and let these things happen. Good luck to you
Reply:that is not true not all girls want and up in your face approch i myself like it when a guys is sweet and caring when it comes to woman not all woman like it when a man says hey wanna hook up kinda thing me i like the fact you ae willing to give flowers and write poems and so all the nice things a girl should get but not all woman are that kind of girl some like it to be up front and say hey i wanna date you or lets hook up kinda thing now me if a guy did for me what you say you do then i would date him in a heart beat no questions asked as long as it is not a show to get what you want keep it going someday you will find a girl who wants that from a man good luck
Reply:well, turn around, look her in the eye and grin from ear to ear.
Reply:confidence ....confidence confidence....i was just liek you when i was in high school then i learned to get out of it...by tiem i was going to the bars i was getting 5 phone numbers a night without workign hard........it sounds liek u were liek me....when u see girl u think of it as u might lose...she wont leik you.....picture it as she is jsut oen girl....even if u get her number u wont call her....who cares if she doesnt liek you...every tiem u go out tehre are miliosn of girls....within the frist 10 seconds of talking to a girl she has to feel that u are confident or you will not get her attention ....dnt try to sweet talk her either....especially if she is beautiful...think abotu how many gusy coem up to her saying the same thing....ooo you are so beatiful can i buy u a drink.......be differnt...confident...funny and appealing...as if she wants to knwo more and more bout u ...ull do good think about failure as a learning lesson.................guys that get tons of women get turend down tosn of tiems also they just dotn tell u about it
Reply:approach the girl you like, compliment her, try to be confident. practise makes perfect.
Reply:To be honest i would love a nice guy, guys that are in your face can get obnoxious and i know many girls that would be of the same opinion as I am so I think you may be looking for the wrong type of girl, like you probably don't end up with nice girls, girls who really do care about you and would hate to see anyone hurt so you need to start looking for them and just try to talk to the girl and be yourself while also showing you are interested by the way you look at her and touch her...best of luck, you sound great so don't give up!!
Reply:Hey some of us girls like sweet, guys like u. but there seems to be only one problem most girls don't really like shy guys. so it sounds like the only thing you need to change is how shy you are. just be more agressive and be yourself. Most importantly have tons of fun!
Reply:Treat them mean keeps them keen? It does'nt believe me. Just me yourself you will find someone who appreciates good manners.
Reply:Don't change the way you are for anyone cos that would just be a lie! My best friend (who happens to be a very nice guy) had the exact same problem, and I told him that one day, he would meet a woman who appreciated him for who he is. He has.



Forget about the "Treat them mean, keep them keen" nonsense ... just be yourself. You sound like someone I would date, so you see, some women like men who are nice and romantic. Good luck!
Reply:hi there, i agree with krystal. you may not have found the right person for you yet but dont ever change who you are! you cant pretend to be something you are not, and by the sounds of it you dont need to. some women may prefer a more outgoing, loud man but not all women. id love to find a gentleman, when you are ready to settle down in life that will go in your favor. keep being true and honest to yourself and you will find the woman for you, and she will apreciate you for who you are, you dont find many true gentleman in the world anymore.
Reply:From personal experience I think its your age that is awkward - not your approach! like mid twenties is a time when women get sick of the treat em mean to keep em keen approach which when youre in your early twenties is great as the challenge keeps you interested - but around the mid twenties preferences change when the female realises that its more important to have a "nice" reliable guy that doesnt mess with your head! Myself - when I was around your age - I would honestly have had no interest in a guy that was too nice as I would have considered them boring and uneventful - but now Im 30 and single Im kicking myself that I didnt think ahead back then and go for the many nice guy offers that Id had!!! Keep the faith hun - someone will realise what a catch you are soon enough! xx
Reply:some of us girls do prefer nice guys! be yourself. enjoy life and sunsets.
Reply:You must overcome your shyness and start to chat with the girls, develope a good sense of humour, girls like a guy who makes them laugh. You are bothering too much what these girls think of you instead of just being yourself. All girls will not like you do not take it personnaly just look for one that does. Good luck
Reply:This is not true for all girls. There are still some out there that would love to be treated like a very special person when in a man's company. Maybe it would be best for you to relocate your place of meeting girls.
Reply:Ok. You dont have to have the 'treat them mean keep them keen' approach, but what I think you may be lacking is a bit of a cheeky side. The last fella that pulled me when I was out with my friends just came up and chatted nonsense, funny nonsense I might add, and danced like a complete loon, which was really very funny. We've been together for 2.5 years now. Dont take yourself to seriously and just let yourself go, that'd be my advice. In my opinion woman like men with a sense of humour and confidence. So, in future dont think about what to say or do coz then you will end up f***ing it up. As you pass the lady whilst going to the loo or something slightly bump into her and make conversation that way.



Just go for it ya big softy! xx
Reply:be agressive ish ..be flurtatious
Reply:You need to show the girl that you know what you want and its her, and prove you really like her and strong enough to stand by her no matter what. Being too polite/staring sometimes - opposes the above. Good luck
Reply:i personally like your sort of chap, try smiling when you hold the eye contact, it gives a clearer indication of you liking them, and holding eye contact a bit longer, practice at home in front of a mirror, no one will see you, just yourself