How is this poem.......................?

Can you spot the weak lines......



The road is laid down quite straight

but the journey is not, neither fate

I look back as I step over the line

unto that unknown fate of mine

All hands that pick me when I fall

Go and leave me as I leave my thrall

As I walk, new seeds sprout all along

As birds sing a strange new song

The once tall and magnificent trees

seem withered and weak, one sees

Bear fruits in bounties from flowers

Falling in heaps as I lavishly devour

If their fruits don't drop or are sour

I throw rocks for the fruits to shower

The sun shines pleasantly and rise

beautiful flowers, birds, butterflies

Swiftly, sun and all disappear fully

Weather is dark, rainy and gloomy

Hare hops along shortcuts, diverging

from the road; tempted, I start following

The further I go, the farther I stray

To the waiting wolves, I fall as prey

Breezes blow me back, without due

Along the road I start to continue

Thunder roars, in the bushes I hide

Knowing no harm, I put fear aside

The road is untarred at stretches

I walk warily with unkeen senses

Rocks, roots, weeds cause a stall

Over it I trip, I stumble, and I fall

Into a ditch, all bruised and bloody

I can't climb out, I crawl all muddy

Slowly wounds heal, tears vanish

With vigour I jump out of rubbish

I stand tall as it curves and it goes

Along a small slope the road slows

Path's end isn't seen, though near

as falling fog mists my view unclear

But the sun rises as a new dawn

I see the end, beyond and gone

As paradise, the road doesn't end

Ahead many more roads transcend

How is this poem.......................?
the weak lines that i saw were:

Go and leave me as I leave my thrall



seem withered and weak, one sees



The road is untarred at stretches







since your pattern is ABABAB and your words rhyme like cat and mat, this line doesnt rhyme

Swiftly, sun and all disappear fully

Weather is dark, rainy and gloomy

and

Slowly wounds heal, tears vanish

With vigour I jump out of rubbish
Reply:I think it is a nice poem,quite good keep your good work..
Reply:Nice one
Reply:emo
Reply:gud one
Reply:You shoud make it into a song!
Reply:i think it's a nice poem.

did u ryt others?

cool!

wide children shoes