Native english speakers, would you help me with this sentence?

Hi.



I think this sentence seems to be long.

I want to shorten it without losing its meaning

and to make it easier.

Could you do it for me? :D



"when my sadness that is as thin as withered flowers

cannot fall asleep because of these tangled years"



If I leave out "that is" in the 1st line, is it still understandable?



Thank you in advance!

Native english speakers, would you help me with this sentence?
You might shorten it like this:



"when my sadness, as thin as withered flowers,

cannot fall asleep because of these tangled years"



but it is not a sentence.



ADDENDUM



Funny, someone thinks it is... Hmmm, despite the echoes below...
Reply:I would say,

"My sadness is a thin, withered flower.

I cannot fall asleep because of these tangled years,"

as two sentences.

I used a metaphor (saying that my sadness is directly a flower, rather than saying my sadness is as thin as a withered flower,) because it's shorter and more powerful, in my opinion.
Reply:"when these tangled years prohibit my sadness, as thin as withered flowers, to sleep"
Reply:"when my sadness, as thin as withered flowers

cannot fall asleep because of these tangled years"

If you place a (,) comma in place of (that is) the meaning remains the same, and sounds more poetic.
Reply:If someone understands your poetry, yes, he will also when you leave out THAT IS or even THAT IS AS

with or without comma, hmmm, who cares..
Reply:Yes it is actually more understanding!However,make sure you insert a comma after when my sadness,thin as.....
Reply:the sentence is kind of confusing. im not sure what you are trying to say
Reply:This sounds better:

When my sadness, as thin as withered flowers

cannot fall asleep, these tangled years.



Poems don't have to explain it is supose to be a feeling and that explains that feeling much better.